Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Treadmill TV

Went to the gym today.

My gym has the most random things playing on the televisions sometimes.

Today all televisions were tuned to MTV - I couldn't help but catch this out of the corner of my eye while doin' my cardio thang on the treadmill.

Now, we all know that MTV stopped showing actual music videos some time ago, but I, for one, had no idea what kind of programming had taken the place of music videos...until today during my run.

MTV was airing a show with a title like "Real Life: My Summer Romance," or some such thing, in which they were following two very young couples the summer before one half of the couple was due to leave for college. I could only catch the occasional subtitle, but I felt sure that I am way older than the intended MTV demographic. I found my mind doing the equivalent of eye rolls as I (loosely) followed the story of Stephanie(?) and Danny(?).

Stephanie and Danny live in Florida, and Danny will be attending college in Gainesville, FL in the Fall, five hours away from their hometown!!!
Danny wants Stephanie to move to Gainesville with him, but Stephanie isn't sure what to do!!!
She wants him to go off and have the full "college experience," whatever that means...

I'll tell you what it means, sister. It means Danny's gonna go off to college and realize he hasn't grown up yet, and neither have you...and you're both gonna move on with your lives, and realize that all the drama you are putting on this youthful, immature relationship is very, very silly.

Wow. I just turned into a mean old codger, or something. Sorry about that. But the show was annoying. I promise.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

New Skill

So I'm learning how to play bridge.

My boss hosts a weekly bridge gathering at her apartment near Washington Square Park. She and her friends have been meeting there for a year and a half. They have three regular players, but they are always struggling to secure a steady fourth player...this is problematic, as bridge requires exactly four players to play a game.

Anyway, my boss has been encouraging me to come and check it out for some time, partly because she has some sort of idea that I might be good at bridge. She knows that my brother is a world class bridge player - guess she's hoping it runs in the genes!

I had no idea at all how to play bridge before going to check it out for the first time last week. I've now gone to bridge night twice - the first time just to observe and ask questions, and the second time to sit in and play (and, of course, ask more questions).

I was amazed at how quickly time passed while I played. At one point I looked up to check the clock and noticed that three hours had passed almost imperceptibly. Who knew bridge could be so much fun?

I think perhaps I will stick with this bridge thing, continue to attend bridge night at my boss's apartment when I can. It's a tremendously complicated game - there's so much to learn, and it feels good to stretch my brain in a completely new direction. Plus, there's the added bonus of the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I can hope to understand my brother a tiny bit more.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Gonna try, gonna try...

...gonna try to write a little something here everyday. Again. (While giving myself exceptions for vacations and such).

Let's see what happens.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Saturn return

Alright. I'm not a new agey kinda gal, and I don't believe in astrology, but I swear there's something to this Saturn return thing.

My 30th birthday, which occurred earlier this year, was indeed a significant time for me, and I made sure to commemorate it properly, by surrounding myself with friends, preparing and performing a new full-length show, and getting my first tattoo.
I was looking forward to 30 as an age when I'd be done with all the bullshit, as a time when I'd focus on what I really wanted to do with my time.

Astrologers say that Saturn return occurs anywhere from age 27-30, or perhaps as specifically as every 29.5 years. This is how long it takes Saturn to complete its orbit around the sun - therefore, Saturn will theoretically occupy the same place in space on the day you turn 29.5 as it did on the day you were born.
According the Astropalmistry(!) website, "Saturn is the planet of contraction, limitation and time. It rules form, structure, focus, discipline, responsibility, steadfastness, security or insecurity, modesty, harvest, bitterness, depression, success or lack of it, and rigidity."
Therefore, a person's Saturn return is said to coincide with a deep questioning of one's path in life.

I think back to when I turned 29.5...hm, if I'm going to be precise about it, that would be November 2, 2007. What was going on in my life then? I had certainly recently made some changes for the better. I had left a bad relationship and moved into my own apartment. I was also about to make some more changes that indicated progress...I was about to start performing regularly at open mics, and I was finishing up a memoir project I had started that Fall in an essay writing workshop. I was also busy revisiting and re-evaluating parts of my past.

And now...I find myself caught in confusion and sometimes depression and sometimes fear, but mostly hope and excitement for the future. It feels like big changes are coming, but only if I make them so. I hope I have the necessary strength and courage to move forward. I think I do.